It was a lazy Saturday morning. My girlfriend, Joanne, woke up early and got dressed, but I lay in bed for quite a while, dozing. I was exhausted from the long week.
Finally, around nine, I flung myself out of bed and took a shower. Wrapped in a towel, I plodded back into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of loose blue jeans.
Without thinking, I reached into the closet and picked out a neon-green Benito’s Landscaping Service T-shirt. I owned several, and I was required to wear one each day to work.
I went to the kitchen, poured some coffee, then padded to the living room and flung myself onto the couch. Even after all that sleeping, I was still tired. I wanted to reach for the remote sitting on the coffee table before me, but I couldn’t summon the strength.
The back door opened, and my girlfriend, Joanne, walked in. Her knees were dusty, and I could tell that she had been in the yard, working.
She paused and glared at me. “What in the world is this?”
I looked down at myself, blinking. “What?”
She frowned. “It’s Saturday. Why are you wearing one of your work shirts?”
“This?” I pointed to my Benito’s Landscaping Service T-shirt. “Oh, I don’t know, hon. It was hanging in the closet, so I put it on.”
“But those are for work!” Joanne said. “And you own, like, 1,400 T-shirts. Why can’t you put something else on?”
“It’s always a gamble when I try on an old T-shirt,” I said, sipping my coffee. “Sometimes they don’t fit anymore, or there’s a tear in the sleeve or a stain I forgot about. But my landscaping T-shirts are always comfortable, so I know what I’m getting into when I put one on.”
Joanne shook her head. “I don’t like this. Work clothes are for work. Weekend clothes are for the weekend.”
“Think about it like this,” I said. “Steve Jobs wore the same outfit every day. So did Matlock. So did Superman! Maybe jeans and a Benito’s Landscaping T-shirt can be my new go-to outfit for every occasion. That way, I don’t have to waste time picking out clothes.”
“That’s it.” Joanne marched to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?” I called. “You’re not going to throw out my T-shirts, are you? Because I still need them! I do!”
I heard the closet door slam, then drawers opening and closing. A moment later, Joanne appeared in the hallway, dressed in her white nurse’s uniform.
“Well?” she said, glowering. She held up her arms.
I shrugged. “Well, what? Are you going to work, or something?”
“If you can wear your work uniform on Saturday, then so can I!” Joanne said. “I’ll wear this to the store, and then I’ll also wear it out to dinner tonight! What do you think of that? Huh?”
“Mmm,” I said, grinning. “I hope you do. I love a woman in uniform. I always have. It’s such a turn-on.”
Joanne’s eyes widened. “You jerk!”
She marched back to the bedroom and slammed the door. I could hear her kicking off her shoes and unzipping her uniform.
“Honey, why are you mad?” I called. “I don’t get it. Did you think you were punishing me, or something?”