I’ve been writing for more than 30 years, and still nothing terrifies me more than a blinking cursor on a stark-white page.
I’m not sure what it is. The fear that I might lost my spark, my inspiration? The fear that, no matter how long I sit, the words might never come?
I don’t write consistently, and writer’s block has plagued me for months at a time. I’ve even renounced writing altogether on more than one occasion.
Yet somehow, no matter how dry my well of ideas, I’ve always survived the drought.
There’s aways a fear when starting something new. A fear of failure. A fear of disappointment. A fear that the end result won’t meet my lofty expectations.
I’ve always thought that the fear would go away, but even with experience, it never has. There’s always that sense of dread when I undertake something new. A sense that I’ve lost my mojo, that my best years are long behind me.
But it’s not the destination that matters in life. It’s the journey.
I know this — and I always remind myself of this — and yet, the fear persists. The fear of the blank page, of the dry well of ideas. I thought experience was supposed to embolden you, but when it comes to writing, I still feel like a novice. Every new project feels like an insurmountable chore — like a term paper due on Monday morning that was only started on Sunday night.
“It’s the journey that matters,” I remind myself, repeating worn-out platitudes that have never sunk in. “Forget the destination. Enjoy the experience.”
They say that even seasoned stage actors get stage fright. There’s always that rush of adrenaline before every performance — and that vague, nagging fear that they’ll forget a line, or freeze in front of the audience.
The blinking cursor both beckons and intimidates me. So much white space to fill. So many creative avenues to explore. It’s at once energizing and exhausting.
But I have to start somewhere. I’ll never know where this journey leads unless I start walking, forging my own trail.
After all, you can’t enjoy the journey if you never embark on the adventure.