Money pouring in

The Lawn-Cutting Crew is a humor fiction blog. It's sort of like a comic strip, but without the drawings. It offers self-contained chapters and lots of laughs.

It was Saturday night, and my girlfriend and I were spending the evening with our friends, Ed and Lori, at their downtown apartment. 

I hadn’t wanted to come, but Joanne, my girlfriend, had made me. 

“You’ve been spending too much time on the lawn-cutting crew with all those overgrown oafs,” she’d said, her hands on her hips. “You need to hang out with normal people for a change.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, as I crammed my hand down my pants and scratched myself. 

Joanne glared. “Do I really need to answer that question?”

So here we were at Ed and Lori’s. They’d prepared a fabulous dinner, and now we were lounging in the dimly lit living room. Joanne and I sat next to each other on a scratchy couch.

Ed was talking about his job as a real-estate agent who sold luxury homes.

“I just sold two listings in that new golf-course community on the edge of town,” he said, his defiant chin thrust in the air. “Both were in the high 600s. So now that my Lexus is two years old, I’m thinking of trading it in for a BMW. Or maybe a Mercedes. I’m not sure which.”

He shrugged, giving us a toothy grin. “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get both. With all this money pouring in, who needs to be choosy? Right?”

He and Lori threw their heads back and laughed. Joanne and I gave each other a sideways glance. 

“So, Peter,” Ed said, motioning to me. “What line of work are you in, pal?”

“I mow lawns and pull weeds for minimum wage,” I said, sitting with my hands folded in my lap.

“Oh.” Ed bit his lip. “Well … I’m sure that’s nice. That explains the dark tan.”

The four of us sat in awkward silence, listening to the city traffic outside.

“Tell you what,” Ed said, standing up. “I have a scrumptious port that we got from our recent trip to the wine country. It’s great for dessert. How about we all enjoy a glass?”

“Eh, I don’t know,” I said. “None for me. I don’t drink, and I’m sure that stuff would go to my head really fast.”

“I’m glad you declined,” Joanne said, smiling and squeezing my hand. “Or else my fist would have gone to your head really fast.”

I rolled my eyes. “And you’re the one who says I need to cut loose and party.” 

Author: Allen

I’m a humorist and fiction writer, as well as the author of two books. One is a collection of humor, and one is a collection of short stories. Both books are available on Amazon. I always wanted to write a comic strip, but I can’t draw. Not even a stick-person. So that’s why “The Lawn-Cutting Crew” is a comic strip without drawings. I hope you enjoy!

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