Putting my college degree to good use

Hi! My name’s Peter. I’m 23 years old, and I recently graduated from college with a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism.

Apparently, that means I have no marketable skills to bring to the workforce. I wish someone would have told me about the uselessness of college degrees during orientation. I could have saved my tuition money and spent it on something more fulfilling — like a case of Stella Artois. 

Trudging into the workforce with nothing but my determination and a worthless piece of paper, I got a minimum-wage job as a laborer with Benito’s Landscape Service. 

Benito is the owner … but given the company’s name, I imagine that’s obvious. He’s an older Italian guy, and the only thing shorter than his height is his temper. His outbursts of profanity are nothing short of eloquent. They have the stirring cadence of a classical composition. (Unless, of course, you’re on the receiving end; then, they’re downright brutal.) 

I’m on a crew of five. We drive around in a truck with a trailer attached and keep up yards all day. 

Being the newest member, I’m often tasked with weed-pulling and flower-trimming. Benito says if I don’t confuse the two (and being inexperienced, that’s a distinct possibility), I might advance someday to pushing a mower. 

My boss is Crew Leader Carl. He has four employees — the same number as his teeth. 

Being the boss, he gets to drive the truck, as well as the ride-on mower. He refuses to touch shovels or pruners, though. He says they’re tools for laborers, and not for someone of such a prominent stature as himself. 

This blog is about my new job and the life lessons I’ll no doubt learn. I hope you’ll follow me as I undertake this exciting new venture. I hope someday to get my green thumb. 

Either that, or my pink slip; whichever comes first.